What I Wish Someone Told Me About Style After 40
I was halfway into my forties when I realized something quietly revolutionary: I had fallen head-over-heels in love—with my own body.
Not the kind of love that hinges on the scale or whether my jeans zipped up without a shimmy. This was a deeper kind of adoration, born from years of living, touching joy and heartbreak, growing babies, building businesses, saying no, saying yes, and learning that softness and strength can occupy the same skin.
And that changed everything, especially the way I dress.
If you had told me at 25 that I’d be wearing sequined blazers to brunch or pairing silk robes with six-inch heels for loungewear at 47, I would’ve laughed, thinking, Isn’t there a handbook that tells women what they can and can’t wear after a certain age?
Apparently, there is. And I have gleefully, unapologetically tossed that ish out the window.
"Dressing with intention is one of the most overlooked wellness practices we have access to. Because when you put on something that makes you feel seen, empowered, magnetic—it changes how you walk through the world."
Popilush Bodysuit, Skirt, Trench Coat
No one told me that after 40, fashion would feel less like performance and more like celebration. That instead of chasing trends, I’d be chasing the thrill of expression. That I’d wear red lipstick on a Monday just because my coffee tasted particularly poetic. That I’d choose fabrics by how they feel against my skin—silk that slides, linen that breathes, leather that holds and excites.
No one told me that my sensuality would deepen—not disappear—with age. That I’d feel sexier not in the short dress, but in the long one that swishes when I walk, hinting at the curve of my hip. That bare shoulders would say more than cleavage ever did. That confidence is the most flattering thing a woman can wear, and Queen, it never goes out of style.
Dressing Myself Was Part of My Healing
For years, I had waged a quiet war with my body. Judging it. Silencing it. Trying to dress it in ways that made it shrink or disappear. Survival-mode dressing. Clothes that said, “Don’t notice me, I’m tired. I’m trying. I’m just making it through the day.”
But when I began to truly see myself—to make peace with every curve, every line, every beautiful evolution—I realized that how I dressed could either echo that healing or work against it.
Getting dressed became a ritual of reclamation. A love letter to the body I used to criticize. Each outfit, a chance to say, “I honor you. I celebrate you. I’m listening to you now.”
It wasn’t about being fancy. It wasn’t about being sexy for someone else. It was about being in alignment with me.
A Well-Curated Woman Dresses With Intention
Being a well-curated woman in midlife doesn’t mean owning a closet full of luxury labels or following every trend. It means consciously choosing what goes on your body—not just what’s clean or easy or “good enough.”
It means asking, Does this outfit match the energy of the woman I’m becoming?
Sometimes it’s a flowy dress and gold hoops. Sometimes it’s yoga pants that still feel luxe because I chose them with care. It doesn’t have to be uncomfortable, fussy, or tight to be intentional. It just has to feel like you.
Dressing with intention is one of the most overlooked wellness practices we have access to. Because when you put on something that makes you feel seen, empowered, magnetic—it changes how you walk through the world. It shifts how you speak. What you believe is possible.
And when I walk into a room now, I’m not wondering if I’m “too much.” I am much. And I own it and wear it well. No apologies.
"Dressing with intention is one of the most overlooked wellness practices we have access to."
So here’s what I wish someone told me: “Wear the damn thing. Don’t save it for a special occasion. You are the occasion.”
I wish they had told me to trust the mirror less and my instincts more. Because I now know the power of throwing on a blazer over lingerie and calling it an outfit. Of slipping into heels just to cook dinner. Of mixing vintage with runway knockoffs and laughing when someone asks, “Who are you wearing?” Because the answer is always: Me. I’m wearing me.
Queen, hear me loud and clear: style after 40 isn’t a decline. It’s a return. A homecoming. Divine permission to show up in whatever lights you the f*ck up.
Leopard print? Yes. Tulle skirts? Always. Oversized sunglasses at night? In my best Naomi Campbell impression, darling, why not?
Because you were born with the right to wear your joy. And that, more than anything, is always in style.
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So YOU !!👍🏾👍🏾