Becoming Her Begins With Those Micro-Moments of Choosing Yourself Without Condition
I came across a reel that highlighted just how conditioned we as women are to put ourselves and deny ourselves of our basics needs as if we have to earn them.
The woman stitched a video of a man mocking how women pee and her response felt like a call out.
She said: ‘Women don’t even go to the bathroom when they need to because they’re trying to do fifty other things first. Like we have to EARN the right to pee.’
And I immediately thought: Guilty. So guilty.
When you tap into the power of rewriting your story, you give yourself permission to shift your belief that you have to do ‘enough’ in order to earn rest, love, joy and wellbeing.
And this is so vital because we as women, often don’t realize just how conditioned we are with ‘ONLY if → Then’ thoughts. Think I’m joking? Think about this.
How many times have you had to do something as simple and basic to life as needing to pee, yet you thought to yourself:
-Let me just water this plant first (while doing the pee pee dance the whole time)
-I’ll go after I fold this pile of laundry.
-I need to start dinner first.
Sound familiar?
We've been so conditioned to put ourselves last that we literally negotiate with our own BLADDER.
Think about that. A basic biological function. Something you’d never make your child or partner wait to do. But you? You’ll hold it while you water plants, fold laundry, start dinner. To prove what? That you’re productive enough to deserve 60 seconds for yourself. And if you have kids, pets, or a partner that weaponizes incompetence, make it 10 seconds. Tops.
This is one of those wake up moments where we have to honestly sit with the question: If we’re doing this with something as fundamental as using the bathroom, what else are we denying ourselves?
The rest. The help. The investment in our dreams. The boundary. The pleasure. The full expression of who we’re becoming.
All of it waiting on the other side of an impossible equation: “Once I’ve done enough, THEN I’ll deserve to receive.”
Here’s your Rewriting practice:
The next time you need to pee, just go. Immediately. No conditions. No tasks first. No earning it. This is also a reminder for myself because why am I so determine to fold up my underwear high-end boutique style while I rub my thighs together, walking in circles trying not to pee on myself?!?
Notice what comes up. Notice the resistance. Notice how radical it feels to simply honor your body without negotiating. Without making it earn what it is already worthy of.
That’s where your Becoming begins. In those micro-moments where you choose yourself without condition.
Your body’s needs aren’t something you earn through productivity. They’re signals to honor, not negotiate with. They’re your birthright.
Even the need to pee. Especially that one.
Be honest—what’s something you’ve been making yourself earn that should’ve never been conditional in the first place?
P.S. Becoming isn’t an all-or-nothing, do it all at once massive life overhaul—it starts in the smallest moments where you stop abandoning yourself. Choosing rest, honoring your body, and releasing the belief that you must earn your worth is how women in midlife begin rewriting their lives from the inside out.
This is the important and profoundly soul-satisfy work I get to do with women everyday in the Rewriting phase of the Becoming Framework. This phase of your journey is about creating the new rules of your life through self-granted permission and creative play to build the foundation for what comes next.
Join the waitlist for my signature Becoming Framework coaching program. I would love to witness your becoming.
