Last updated on August 1st, 2025 at 04:22 am
What If the Thing Holding You Back Isn’t What You Think?
*Disclosure- This post may contain affiliate links that earn me a small commission at no additional cost to you. Please read my full disclaimer policy here and THANK YOU for reading.
There was a time I truly believed my peace was being stolen by everything around me.
The husband who didn’t see me.
The responsibilities that weighed too heavy.
The chaos that never seemed to let up.
The roles I played against my own wellbeing until I could barely hear my own voice under the noise of what everyone else needed.
The Illusion of External Chaos
And for a while, it felt easier to blame the external.
It felt easier to make others accountable for my happiness.
Because if it’s “them,” then I don’t have to look at me.
At what I was allowing.
At what I was clinging to.
But healing has a way of pulling you inward.
The Ego’s Disguise: Control as Safety
And what I started to see—through journaling, tears, stillness, and radical honesty—was that the most persistent threat to my peace wasn’t them.
It was me.
More specifically, the version of me that thought ego was protection.
The part that stayed silent just to keep the peace.
The part that equated control with safety.
The part that held on tight to familiar pain because it was less terrifying than unfamiliar possibility.
We don’t always recognize ego for what it is—especially when we’ve been taught to survive, not thrive.
How Unlearning Becomes Healing
Ego doesn’t always show up as arrogance.
Sometimes it’s the voice that tells you:
“You’re too much.”
“You’re not enough.”
“Don’t rock the boat.”
“Don’t say what you really feel.”
It’s the whisper that says, “Play it safe. Stay small. Be grateful for what you’ve got.”
But here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way:
Gratitude is not the same as settling.
And ego is not the same as protection.
Ego is afraid of losing control.
But your soul?
Your soul is craving freedom.
From Shrinking to Self-Liberation
When I began to choose peace over pride…
Truth over ego…
Joy over control…
Everything changed.
And not all at once.
Not in some perfect, Instagrammable before-and-after story.
But in the quiet, brave, everyday decisions to stop betraying myself for the sake of being “safe.”
If you’re in the thick of that unbecoming,
if you’re noticing the ways your old patterns try to pull you back into shrinking,
you are not broken.
You are breaking free.
And that? That is sacred work.
Reflection Invitation
Where might your ego still be masquerading as protection?
What “safe” choices are actually self-sabotage in disguise?
Pause. Breathe. Listen.
You already have the answers. Your body knows. Your soul remembers.
🖤 Keep going. You’re doing the real work.
Ready to Break Free from Your Old Patterns?
Book a clarity session or download my free Rebuilding Self-Trust Journal Prompts to support your journey back to yourself.
