Why You Should be Consciously Dedicating Time to Thriving in Life
Living a life where you are thriving, constantly growing, healing, succeeding and loving yourself fiercely is freaking hard work. You have to dedicate time, effort, blood, sweat and tears to build a life you love in a world that seemingly loves to tear people down. We get snared in the comparison trap. We fall victim to the anonymous, faceless trolls that obviously aren’t living their best lives. We drag ourselves through the mud worse than anyone else ever could. I know I have way too many times. Sometimes we reach a point of comfort where we start slacking off, we get lazy and assign the task of fulfilling our lives to other people or things. Huge mistake, trust me. And many times, we just get so overwhelmed with work, kids, family, social engagements and handling other people’s drama, trauma and issues that we put our pursuit of peace and happiness on the back burner. Of a 15 burner stove top. With every single burner on. Yeah, you’re not reaching back there.
This is why you need to make a conscious effort to check in with yourself to make sure you are staying on course towards healing, reaching your growth goals and living the best life possible. It is not going to happen on its own and it sure as hell is not going to happen placed in the hands of someone else or surrounded by fire. Just like you would call a family member or an old friend to see how they are doing, you need to do the same for yourself. Ideally, this would be a daily well-visit of sorts but if your days look anything like mine, I know that may not always be possible. I do strive for at least once a week by setting several reminders (yes the struggle is real) to sit down with myself and have a real dialogue. I dedicate one hour, or more if needed, to looking back over my week and assess what happened, how I felt and how I handled situations as they came up. This is where journaling or at least keeping notes in your phone is really helpful. I know you needed ONE more thing on your to do list, right? Seriously though, dedicating moments here and there will save you from having to dedicate huge chunks of time trying to correct something that could have been prevented in the first place.
It Takes Dedication
Really, dedication is the the keyword you need to know here because it will take lots of it to keep the flow of your life moving forward and in sync with your goals. You should be on such a deep level of dedication to thriving that you question every single area of your life when it feels out of alignment. These questions should help you fine tune your life plan as needed, get you back on track when you are feeling lost, offer insight as to why your growth may be stalled and overall, guide you on your journey to knowing, loving and bettering yourself.
Armed with my notes and journal, I analyze my week. I pat myself on the back when I note growth, healing and improvement. Those are no small feats. Make sure you celebrate any growth. I also look for ways that I can improve or how I can better handle a situation. I pay close attention to how I was feeling. While I validate any and all feelings because hey, I felt how I felt at the time, I question whether my reactions were appropriate. Many times I tend to overreact or let my emotions get the best of me so I am always interested in how I’m doing in this area.
Here are some questions I ask myself weekly. Feel free to use them as a guideline. Be sure to add questions that will help provoke deep thought and provide you with clarity and insight.
- Am I prioritizing myself and my needs so that I can better serve others? If not, what prevented me from doing so?
- Am I nourishing my body and mind with healthy food and thought? Why did I eat/think ‘that’ when I know that it makes me feel like ‘this’?
- Am I growing mentally, spiritually, emotionally and more in love with myself everyday?
- Do I appreciate and accept every part of myself? If not, why? Is it something I genuinely need to change or am I comparing myself to someone else? Am I trying to live up to an unrealistic standard?
- Am I talking or thinking about myself in a negative way? If so, why? What triggered me to feel this way?
- Am I holding on to past trauma or wounds? Am I struggling with other people’s or generational issues that aren’t mine to carry? Why do I feel the need to carry it? Why does this event and/or person have a hold on me?
- Have I really let go of things that I know aren’t good for me, stress me out or that no longer spark joy in my life? And if not, why?
Remember, you need to be asking yourself these types of questions often. Be truthful in answering these questions. Love and trust yourself enough to be completely open and honest. Some of your answers aren’t going to be pretty. There are many times I have looked back over my journal and ask “Now why in the hell did you do that? Girl, you know that wasn’t even necessary”. Hey, it happens. As long as you are learning and actually applying what you learned, you will grow despite setbacks.
So my queens, let’s get to work! You are completely worthy of your loving dedication.
Be Unapologetically You,
