Embracing the Pain of Healing
When you truly learn to love yourself it will result in healing and overcoming past trauma. This is due in part to you becoming more aware of how to nurture and have compassion for yourself. You extend yourself grace. You learn better coping strategies to help you deal with problems you may face. In turn, you begin to make better choices to avoid things or people that can harm you, preventing the pain they will inevitably cause.
But prepare yourself because with healing comes painful emotions like grief, anger, discomfort and pain. You will grieve for the time you wasted, the opportunities that you missed and the people you invested your time and energy into who didn’t do the same for you. You will feel anger when you realize that you were never asking for too much, just asking the wrong people. Pain will riddle you as you acknowledge that you deserved more. There can also be feelings of guilt for pain you may have caused others. These are all normal feelings and reactions. I have felt them all, some more intense than others.
Give yourself permission to grieve. Own your anger. Accept the pain as part of the healing process. Let yourself experience all the feelings and emotions that come to you. Give yourself time to understand and grow from the pain. Again, this is all normal and part of healing. There’s no way around it. You have to go through it. Don’t run from the pain even if it seems worse than the trauma you are holding onto. Running does not work! Trust me, I know from personal experience. I eventually accepted that I had to face the pain in order to let go and heal.
Instead of running or trying to avoid it all together, allow the pain to flow through you and release it when it’s time. Breathe and live through it, embrace it and let it serve as a reminder so you don’t put yourself in a position to have to go through the pain again. Yes, it’s going to hurt. A lot. For a while. BUT it will get better I promise IF you put in the work. This means addressing the causes of why you are in pain, grieving, angry, etc. It also involves permitting yourself to accept any feelings you many have with open arms. You cannot love yourself without accepting ALL that makes you YOU. That includes feelings.
And really that is the basis of self-love: ACCEPTANCE. Accept what you once were and know that it doesn’t have to define you. Accept yourself as you are in the present state, equipped with the knowledge from your past. Lastly, accept all that you are becoming. Embrace the hurt to promote your growth and healing.
Love yourself fiercely,
