44 till 44 and a Challenge

44 days until my 44th birthday and I’m happy to say that I am loving this stage of my life. If you would have asked me 20 years ago, I would have thought there is no way my life would be better in my 40’s. But Queens, it is because I am consciously dedicated to growing, healing, and thriving no matter what may be going on around me.

I have found a deep and profound love for myself and a greater appreciation of my body. No longer am I pushing the pain to the side to deal with another day. Instead, I acknowledge that I’m hurting, allow myself time to process the thoughts and emotions that come and then address the root cause of the pain. I am giving recognition to the times when I am the “villain” in a situation, when I have been wrong and when I have done wrong. I started taking full responsibility for my actions, shedding the victim mentality and facing the consequences head on. Discovering that I was holding myself back and that a lot of what I did not like in my life was a direct result of my lack discipline was like trying to swallow a jagged horse size pill without water. It does not go down well, which I will discuss in a future post, but it will set your mind right and put you in the best position to start achieving your goals.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, dedication is the key. It starts with the mind and the thoughts you let float around in there. I had to train myself (and believe me, I’m still learning every day) to question why I was having certain thoughts or beliefs. I am learning to master my emotions and not let them cloud my intelligence. Taking the time to still the body and mind long enough to have a real and honest dialogue with yourself is eye-opening to say the least. Finally having that conversation with myself, questioning why instead of just throwing my hands in the air saying “Why me?”, is what began my transformation journey. I wonder what the hell took me so long.

Now I cannot wait to see what the future holds. I wonder what changes it will bring, new paths it will forge and who it will introduce me to. Will I venture to new and far away places? What new discoveries will I find? I plan to embrace it all. The good, the bad, the triumphs, setbacks, trips, falls and the ultimate rise again from the flames. And while I’m stoked about the anticipation of moving on and up to the next level, I also want to make sure I enjoy where I am presently at. To accept who I am now, where I’m at in my journey and who I am becoming is a level of self-love that all of us should strive for.

Now for the Challenge

So during these 44 days until my birthday, I am challenging myself and I hope you will join me. Let’s challenge ourselves to commit to the betterment of at least one area of our lives. Let’s call it “The Better Your Life” challenge. To start, make a list of issues, thoughts, dreams and ideas that have had banging around in your head. Seriously, write that shit down. It makes them more tangible and it will help you to visualize what they look like. Next, categorize and prioritize your list. Your categories can look like this:

Now be direct and honest with yourself. Are you going to dedicate the time and effort that it will require to address an issue or manifest that idea? If the answer is straight up no or you are already making excuses for why you may not follow through, then ask yourself if what is on your list really important to you. If it is, then why can’t you commit to manifesting it? Motivation may help you to start but realize you are not always going to be motivated. This is why, say it with me, DEDICATION is so important. If you are not dedicated to getting that workout in, you’re not going to reach that fitness goal. If you are not dedicated to fully immersing yourself and absorbing the knowledge from that course, you are not going to learn the skills you need. Hell, if you are not dedicated to watching some bacon cook, it can burn down your house. As you can see, dedication is everything.

You’ve made you list, you prioritized what is important and you’ve decided that your dedicated to seeing this through. Now what? Well let’s turn that dream, idea, thought, issue, or desire into a goal by following the formula in the quote by Greg Reid:

Since this is a challenge for my birthday, we’ll set the date for October 26th. Next, let’s break it down into small, attainable steps so we are constantly moving forward and getting closer to making this list a reality. One of my goals is to increase muscle definition/mass so I researched how this is achieved and wrote down the attainable but challenging steps I should take to achieve that goal. Make sure that your steps are realistic for your situation. You do not want to overwhelm yourself at just the thought of trying to reach your goals. My plan also includes another important word: preparation. Knowing what not to do, pitfalls to avoid, purchasing items I may need and having things prepared and ready to go helps me to stay on track.

And just like that, we have an action plan! Look at you Queen, making goals and plans and shit. This action plan is called that for a reason because it’s going to take what? ACTION! Yes boo, you are going to have to follow through and do the work to make all of this a reality. The issue doesn’t get resolved on it’s own. The trauma doesn’t magically heal. The dream doesn’t work unless you do. Your actions, or lack thereof, are going to determine if your plan materializes into reality or if it just remains somethings you wrote down on a piece of paper. And you don’t want to waste paper, right?

Well my Queens, what will be your challenge? What dreams or ideas do you want to bring to fruition? What issues would you like to resolve? What trauma or pain do you want to heal from? If these things are truly important to you and you are finally ready to move up to that next level of fulfillment in your life, just do it! Stop letting it live in your head rent free. Write it down, set a goal, make that plan and take action so that dream is working for you, fulfilling you and bringing joy to you. Release that pain and deal with that issue so that it is no longer holding you back, but rather pushing you forward towards healing.

You have all that you need inside of you to live the life you want to live. You just need to activate it. Once you determine that you are worthy of better things, the dedication, commitment and hard work to achieve your goals doesn’t seem so daunting. I cannot wait to see what you accomplish because you got this!

Be Unapologetically You,

P.S. – To help you Queens out with this challenge (because I really want to see all of you crushing those goals), I created the Better Your Life Challenge Goal Planner for download FREE! Grab it HERE. Use the goal planner to gather your thoughts, ideas, dreams issues, etc. that you want to work on to create a realistic, step-by-step action plan that is going to help you achieve those goals.

Please come back and share your thoughts on the planner and of course, to let me know how you are doing with your challenge.